But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
