If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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