I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
