A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize