you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
