So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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