arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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