Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think people are normalizing furries
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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