So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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