I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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