Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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