I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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