is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
