Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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