So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
This is not my ceiling
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
