I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
