the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
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I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
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woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.