marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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