By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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