Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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