Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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