pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
