i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize