Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
