thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
