I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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