I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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