CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
