hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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