Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
