Jerry, you need to find god
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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