Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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