I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
