so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
