i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
one might say we're banned from that church
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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