I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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