It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
