Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
