You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
