Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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