so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize