Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
