too bad you live with your parents still
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I am one with the molecules
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
