We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize