Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
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you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
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TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize