Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
