haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
