vagina is talking i cant
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
