just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
