could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
