If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
