remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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