I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
