your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
