whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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